She Was the Only Virgin in the Room… and They Laughed at Her

Renee Yam
Oct 1, 2025
4 min read

I was watching a show recently, and there it was again, the same tired storyline.

Everyone in the group was sharing their “first time” stories. One woman, still a virgin in her late 20s, stayed quiet at first. And then, when she did speak up, she said something so beautiful:

“I was waiting because I wanted it to be something special.”

But the room didn’t respond with curiosity or admiration.

They laughed. Mocked. As if her choice to wait was outdated. Naïve. Silly.

And as I sat there watching this unfold, something rose up in me.

I’m tired of this storyline.

movies that dont teach people waiting for marriage

The Lie We Keep Getting Told

In show after show, series after series, we’re fed the same cultural narrative:

“We’re just having fun.”

“No strings attached.”

“It’s just sex. Nothing more.”

Characters jump into bed together, make promises not to get emotionally attached, and then, guess what?! Inevitably, someone does.

Cue heartbreak. Emotional withdrawal. Or worse: numbing the pain by doing it all over again with someone else.

It’s not just a storyline. It’s a cultural script being written into the hearts of viewers, especially young people.

We’re teaching a generation that sex is casual. That emotional detachment is possible. That to be “mature” or “liberated” is to be sexually available, and if you’re still a virgin as an adult, something must be wrong with you.

That is a lie.

A harmful one.

And frankly… it’s boring.

Where’s the Alternative Storyline?

mothers with daughter son want to be example and teach daughter waiting for marriage

As a viewer, as a woman, as a Christian, as a mother, I’m asking:

Where’s the alternative narrative in the stories we tell about sex and relationships?

Where are the storylines that celebrate people choosing to wait, not out of shame, but out of honour?

Where are the characters who value emotional safety, mutual respect, and patient discovery within a committed relationship?

Where are the couples who wait for their wedding night, not because they’re prudes or inexperienced, but because they’re building something sacred?

Friends who choose to wait for marriage despite peer pressure

Too often, when we do see a virgin character, they are mocked.

Made to feel foolish.

Turned into comic relief.

Or worse, the narrative shifts to paint her as desperate, underprepared, and embarrassed for not having more “experience.”

But here’s what we don’t see:

The beauty of two people growing in their sexual confidence together.

The joy of learning in a shame-free, pressure-free, loving relationship.

The foundation of mutual trust that makes intimacy more than just performance.

Instead, we’re told:

“You need experience to be confident.”

“You need to know what you’re doing before you get married.”

But real sexual confidence doesn’t come from practice with strangers.

It comes from safety. From support. From being deeply known and deeply loved.

The Problem With Performance-Based Sex

We’ve created a culture that obsesses over performance:

Be sexy. Be skilled. Be confident.

So we place the focus on “how good you are in bed”, rather than how well you understand each other.

We idolize knowledge over mutual discovery.

We glorify experience over exclusive commitment.

Couple walking hand-in-hand on a boardwalk waiting for marriage

No one tells the story of two people, committed, loving, awkward at times, who grow in their intimacy because they’ve built safety, trust, and vulnerability.

But that story?

That’s the one that leads to long-term joy.

That’s the one worth celebrating.

Dear Hollywood: We Need Better

To the producers, the writers, the media execs shaping the minds of the next generation:

We need alternatives.

The same narrative, recycled over decades, isn’t just repetitive.

It’s shaping real lives.

Real beliefs.

Real pain.

movie producers making movies about waiting for marriage

You have the power to show:

Couples who wait because they respect themselves and each other.
Storylines where sex is sacred, not casual.
Moments where characters choose self-control, not self-indulgence.
Models of Christ-like love that puts the emotional and spiritual welfare of others first.

Dating is the foundation of marriage. And if we want to raise a generation that can build healthy, lasting relationships, it starts with how we tell the story. Is taking it slow the key to successful Christian dating?