The thing about fun is, it’s hard to do alone.
This is where relationships come in: they’re life-giving! They’re meant to bring energy, connection, fun and JOY to our days. When we’re enjoying our relationships, we’re thriving as people. Fun is something that children do naturally, but as responsibility and routine weigh us down as adults, we prioritise it less and less. The result? A life lacking zest.
The same is true for our sex lives. A couple’s sexual intimacy flourishes when it’s fun, energetic and playful. Our bodies, in particular our genitalia, have been designed to experience and enjoy pleasure. Thousands of nerve endings are devoted solely to our pleasure…roughly 8,000 (with new research finding 10,000) in the clitoris and 4,000 in the penis.
Those nerve endings are not there to idle their way to the bottom of the to-do list. They need to be a priority. We make time for the kids to go to the park and play, so we need to make time for play in our sex life too. Building fun into your sexual intimacy can take effort, thought and creativity. So here are some ideas to get you started:
Foreplay: Dance with your clothes on or off, share fantasies, dress up, role play, cook dinner in just an apron, play strip poker, light candles, give
massages and explore different forms of touch.
Build Anticipation: Flirt and tease your way to the bedroom, building
anticipation inch by inch. Start the day with a message written with lipstick on the bathroom mirror or flirt via text throughout the day. Create an inviting bedroom with dimmed lights, fresh sheets, relaxing music and aromatic candles. Go to bed naked or splash out on sexy underwear.
Increase non-sexual intimate acts: Look deeply into each other’s eyes,
massage each other’s feet or hands, swim together, attend a dance class,
create a music playlist or sing a love song to each other.
Create variety: Change it up with long, drawn out ‘banquet sessions’,
quickies, fast and intense, or playful and adventurous sessions. Don’t get rigid and locked in about what sex should be like every time. Stir up your
imagination and get creative!
So now you’ve got new ideas up your sleeve, here’s the hard part: finding the time.
Most of the exciting and fun things in life (e.g holidays!) don’t often happen impulsively. They happen because they are planned, and it’s the same with sex.
Whether you schedule it into your week, book a luxury hotel, or arrange to send the kids to their grandparents, make it a priority and make it happen.
An added benefit? You have time to look forward to it, think about it and
imagine what it’ll be like.
So get creative, plan for sex, and most importantly…have FUN!