Why I Created The Intimacy Reboot

When I created The Intimacy Reboot, I had one goal in mind:

Make it simple. Make it practical. Make it something couples could do right now and actually feel a difference.

Because after nearly a decade of working with couples, I’ve seen the same struggle come up again and again:

“We don’t feel emotionally connected.” “We’re talking… but not really hearing each other.” “We don’t know how to communicate about intimacy.”

And honestly, I don’t think it’s because couples aren’t trying.

It’s because no one ever taught them how.

The Real Problem: A Skill Gap No One Talks About

Most couples know how to talk.

But very few know how to listen.

Like, truly listen…with empathy, without interrupting, and without immediately preparing their comeback.

What I see so often is this:

• Couples are reacting instead of responding.

• They’re hearing words, but not the emotions underneath.

• They’re interpreting everything through their own fears, not the other person’s heart.

  
  

Underneath the surface-level disagreements, about chores, parenting, or mismatched desire, there are deeper emotional and relational needs:

💬 “Do you see me?”

💬 “Do you hear me?”

💬 “Do you still want me?”

💬 “Do I matter to you?”

There’s something powerful about feeling understood.

Not necessarily agreed with.

But deeply understood.

And this is the gap that The Intimacy Reboot helps fill.

Emotional Intimacy Is Not Separate from Sex

Culture teaches us that sex can be separate from emotion. That it’s purely physical, casual, and disconnected from relationship.

But God designed it differently.

God created sex, emotion, and relationship to go hand-in-hand.

Real intimacy is layered - it’s emotional, spiritual, relational, and physical.

When couples don’t connect emotionally, they feel distant, even when they’re physically present.

When emotional needs aren’t spoken, heard, or met… intimacy suffers.

This is why emotional connection matters so much in your sex life.

It’s not about techniques. It’s about safety, vulnerability, and being fully known.

What Premarriage Counseling Didn’t Teach

The truth is most couples haven’t been taught how to build emotional intimacy. Not in school. Not in church. Not growing up.

I’ve lost count of how many couples I’ve spoken to whose only marriage preparation was a few sessions with a well-meaning pastor. No marriage books. No deeper support.

Was it helpful? Yes.

Was it enough to build a lifetime of connection, intimacy, and growth? No.

Premarriage counseling is a beautiful starting point.

But it’s just that - a starting point.

We need more.

We need ongoing support, teaching, and real tools that help couples thrive, not just survive.

And that’s exactly what I wanted The Intimacy Reboot to be:

A practical resource for couples to strengthen their marriage.

Don’t Wait Until You’re in Crisis

One of the biggest myths we’ve believed is that we only need help when things are really bad.

But you don’t wait until your house is crumbling to check the foundation.

You don’t wait until exam day to start studying.

You don’t wait until you're spiritually dry to open your Bible.

So why do we wait until we’re disconnected to start investing in our marriage?

Your relationship with your spouse is the second most important relationship in your life, after your relationship with God.

And if you invest in your spiritual growth… what would it look like to also invest in your marriage?

It doesn’t need to be huge.

It just needs to be intentional.

Date Nights Aren’t the Answer (Alone)

I’m all for date nights. I love them.

But here’s the problem: we’ve made date night the solution to deeper issues.

The question is - how intentional are those date nights?

Are you sitting across from each other talking about work, the kids, and the grocery list? Or are you carving out space to emotionally connect? To ask better questions? To understand each other more deeply?

Because real connection isn’t just about time spent.

It’s about how you spend that time.

And sometimes, the most powerful connection isn’t found in the fancy dinner - it’s found in the 15 minutes of presence before bed.

It’s found in the way you greet each other after work.

It’s in the way you repair tension instead of avoiding it.

So Where Do You Want to Be in 5 Years?

Seriously, take a moment to picture it:

📅 What would you love your marriage to look like in five years?

💬 What kind of conversations do you want to be having?

🫶 How would you like to be connecting?

📸 What memories do you want to be reflecting on together?

And then ask yourself:

What am I doing today to build that future?

You don’t need more time.

You need intention.

That’s what The Intimacy Reboot helps couples do:

Be intentional. Show up with presence. Build connection in the everyday.

Want to Reboot Your Intimacy?

The Intimacy Reboot is a short, practical mini-course that helps couples:

• Strengthen emotional and spiritual connection

• Learn how to listen and empathise

• Build intimacy that’s rooted in safety, presence, and grace

• Reignite closeness - whether you're feeling disconnected or doing well and want to grow

You don’t have to be in crisis to grow.

You just have to be willing to invest in what matters.

👉 Click here to learn more about The Intimacy Reboot

If your marriage is worth a lifetime, it’s worth a few intentional moments now.

You don’t have to overhaul your entire relationship.

Just start showing up - in small ways, consistently, with love.

Intimacy doesn’t begin in the bedroom.

It begins in how we speak, how we listen, how we choose to be present.

Let’s change the narrative.

Let’s build marriages marke#d by trust, connection, and real intimacy.

Want to take the next step? Learn more about Hello Liberty, my biblically grounded course helping Christian women embrace their sexual self in their marriage and deepen intimacy with their husband. Its the education you never got, but definitely deserved!